What a very sad story for you and your children. I'm so glad the three of you endured and got away. No one should be shamed for leaving a violent abusive relationship/marriage.

The shame is on Catholicisim. I too was shamed when I left my first violent-abusive marriage, not by my Catholic church, but by my mother who had converted to Catholicisim to marry my Irish-Catholic father. My mother shamed me for leaving, and never stopped - for same reasons as that church and it's congregants shamed you - for breaking the vows of marriage.

To add insult to injury, a year later when my abusive ex wanted to marry his high school sweetheart, he asked me for an annulment. If I would sign a document the Church was willing to proclaim "we had never really been married." Of course I refused and stepped away from Catholicisim.

Very sadly I believe that some who follow organized religion are too weak to think deep thoughts for themselves - not everyone, but many followers are happy to be sheeple.